the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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