TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
