Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
