how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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