I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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