The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how can u be prego again
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
