People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
