Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
