god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
