Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize