Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
