it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
