it wasn't lemon gatorade
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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