he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
