that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
