Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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