If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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