Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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