Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Terrible idea I love it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
