we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
