I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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