thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?