one two three fourrrrnication!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize