I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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