i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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