I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He? As in you personified your dick?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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