I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
honey bunches of taint.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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