Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize