I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
