God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
