hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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