I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
