I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A+ Viking dick
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