so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
