remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Drunk is a universal language darling
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
