Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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