ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
