yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
