just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
