Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
