like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
