It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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