I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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