I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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