All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
