His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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