The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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