The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
