the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
