just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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