You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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