sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
