They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
