Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When did angry sex become our thing?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
