someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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