I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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