I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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