Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
