he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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