do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
