I'm pants shitting drunk right now
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize