do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
